Raising a Daughter

 " I wish all of you a very Happy Lohri. May you all be the mother of 100 daughters. :-) Be blessed- " One of the messages I received today from my  Facebook friend.. How interesting.. where I grew up in India, we didn't celebrate Lohri so not really aware of the customs and traditions about it but sure sounds intriguing...

Ironically though, few of my friends have casually teased me about having and raising a daughter...Very recently, when we were very casually chatting, boys preschool teacher complemented me that I would have been very good mother to a daughter... ! How flattering ....Having surrounded by wonderful girls from my side of the family, I am very compassionate,  passionate but not drum beating feminist....... sure it would have been wonderful to be able to raise a daughter but on the parenting front, I have a big job cut out for me and there is no what if... a complete full stop to this tinkering thought for now and ever  ;)

I will miss you 2011

Milestone year in many ways, it was wonderful year 2011... Everyone I care about the most , stayed out of the perimeters of the hospitals and major illnesses... this counts as one of the biggest and single most admirable achievements of this year after past several nerve breaking years... This year things beyond your control didn't control our lives and I am immensely thankful for that...

Along came the lighter attitude towards life and things picked up better and better ....

Putting my guards down and enjoying simplest things to the fullest is going to be my mantra for 2012.. never really believed in yearly resolutions but hoping to continue my quest to be emotionally and mentally wiser...and to dream bigger.. As Dalai Lama puts it, " The more we train our abilities, the stronger they become. The difference is that, unlike the body, when it comes to training the mind, there is no limit to how far we can go. "

Here's wishing everyone a fabulous memory making 2012 !!
Cheers !!!

Dear Santa

Just so you know Dear Santa, my husband and I have worked extra extra hard to keep your existence secret this year.... who would have thought that fooling even 4 year old kids will be so brain taxing...huh.....

Wasn't it suppose to be win/win for everyone involved ? Anything for well behaved kids for us parents under your watch for over a month...  Santa, how could we pass that off... but I can tell,  somewhere half way through December, boys got over the magic spell.. Classic case of exposure overload...... Now it almost became the burden on us parents to keep our kids from being " the secret spoilers " in school and elsewhere.... I must say, I was awed when I heard some moms proudly mentioning that supposedly even 9 yr olds still believe in Santa existence... ugh ...really ? all I can say is that I am amused and that's that.... On our house front, we thought how challenging it could be to keep 4 yr olds intrigued in something as rewarding as gifts ? so we made up things as the questions came coming.. and we seriously tried hard in good faith ...but no kidding,  now, I am seriously wondering who is fooling whom  ;) ....

Last year we tracked Santa on the Web with much more conviction than this year and I am certainly not sure about next year...I won't be shocked to see 5 yr old kids goggling Santa, figuring out the secret and fooling parents to make believe the magic... it can and will happen !!

So you Marketing Genius Santa, be happy that in our household, your secret is still somewhat intact this year.. Boys have there wishlist on the window pane.. and don't forget hubby and I have been very good and have also worked extra hard  ;) !!!

Perils of politeness

Beautiful sunny early Monday morning .. Both my boys are on the field at the soccer practise...Coach Jose at his usual best trying to get his 4 yr old campers .. listening to him-follow directions , learn some soccer skills and above all have fun and burn some energy ... hush ( too many expectations isn't it )  ! About eight moms including me and few dads on the sideline watching, cheering and socialising ... Our typical suburbia scene...

About halfway through the session, coach decides to play a match.. Every time the kid who gets the ball from the coach scores a goal.. ok cool.. everyone is happy... Now coach wants them to grab the ball from each other and play.. ( isn't this how soccer should be played ?) and all these eight kids on the field are LOST ! All good mannered kids raised by mostly educated well to do stay at home moms.....everyone is just kind of running around, looking at each other, trying to figure out what to do... From the sideline, some moms are starting to yell " steal the ball...come on ". Coach Jose calls " No.8 ( thats my boy ) come on get the ball and score "  and here's what I hear on the field...my  little boy ask the kid with ball,  " Excuse me, can I get the ball ? " .....a small laughter and 'oh so sweet' comments erupt on the sideline and I am stunned !! All the accolades I get for being a good mom raising oh so great kids ! yikes...

Somewhere deep within I feel slightly lost... well pampered yet well behaved kids..yes I have two of them....and its not just me .. I have surrounded myself with several moms with similar wave length....after all, our kids can play with other kids only when we plan and approve their playdates.....( isn't it more like if us moms gel, our kids naturally gel well ;) .....Haven't I read and followed enough books to let kids be the  kids... ... maybe its just over analyzed parenting style .... I remember my parents always use to tell me ' try NOT to say NO to kids for a day '... I would just smile and nod my head to them... forget the day or the hour for that matter... questions/introspection/dilemma....think about it friends !

" come on.. steal the ball.. lets go " moms around me are cheering from the sideline and the obedient kids are trying to follow their directions ! Life is so less complicated when you are only four :)

In which language do you think when you speak

My routine trip to the office supply store this morning .. me multi tasking in my business casual clothes roaming the isles , buying stuff while talking with someone on the phone.. nothing exciting so far... no I was not loud or obnoxious.. I never am ;)... There is hardly anyone in this big store....after about five mins I notice a middle age lady well dressed in business suite doing her shopping sort of around the area where I was... the noise of her high heel pumps is slightly annoying ....I may have glanced and light smiled at her .. not exactly remember since I was so busy discussing /solving world problems over the phone..

After another 5-10 mins, I am on my way to cashier's lane... Only one open lane and a person in front of me has problem with price or something...( Murphy's law..always ) Anyway... so I am patiently waiting for them to get the resolution and I see this lady come stand behind me... She said hi and I said hi back... ( maybe vice verse... still not paying to much attention to her) .. and here's how the conversation went after that...

Lady : "Excuse me,but I briefly heard you talk .. you speak very good English "

Hmm...within a flash of second, few thoughts crossed my mind.. Honestly, I don't consider it a complement anymore.... Then I checked and made sure my wedding rock was clearly visible on my finger ( hey, these days you never know when total strangers start praising you ) .. Second thought was probably what was I talking on phone ( no breach of privacy for anyone) .. Third of course was annoyance that this unknown woman had no business listening to me ... and I am sure few more flash thoughts along those lines.. Slightly irritated I just glance back at her and she continuse.

Lady : " you look Indian .. I am always curious what language you people think when you speak .. is it your native language or straight English ? "

By this time, I was greeted by cashier... I turn back and with a straight face I said " neither.. I don't know... maybe in polish " ..

I seriously had no intention of pranking her or anything but I was purely annoyed at her now...  I just wanted to get out and maybe a quick joke to lighten her up along the way.... I am swiping my card at this point so I am almost done.. and I hear her one last time in the back,

Lady : " Oh really, my best friend is Polish too... But sorry you don't look Polish ... are you married to one? "

With a BIG awe and smile on my face I just nodded and walked away... wish I had friend along for a good hard laugh....

This Global Village

Earlier this summer, I posted a status on the facebook about how highly irritated I was with mosquitoes.. A lot of my friends and family from India who read it were very amused by that. Some of them even mentioned that it was the first time they heard about mosquitoes in USA... Seriously... no kidding here ...who knew.... right? even I wasn't aware of them 10+ years ago before making US of A my home... Afterall, its the poor developing third world nations problem.. right ? Talk about America's solid image building .....Now that I think about it, if we were to poll americans , a large majority probably still thinks of India as land of cows, snakes , elephants and what not...Yeah right they handle a vast majority of your outsourced work while herding the cows..... Anyway, good learning lesson on smart and savvy marketing though...... So anyway, we had load and loads of mosquitoes this summer and it sure seemed they multiplied faster than their Indian counterparts ;) And now just before someone thought it can't get any worse, it just did....more juicier in fact.. lately I have seen a lot of stories circulating around the web and media about the bedbug infestation in USA... So much so that its raising enough eyebrows and enough attention in prime time media coverage... My fellow friends, its Bedbugs we are talking... yaik yaik yaik.. Now I see a story that can only match the horror for Halloween maybe ;) afterall , its the house of woods that we all live in ( ok maybe a mansion but don't kid yourself, its all wooden, to the very last beam ;) and everywhere I see there is wood ... all the primo wood mahogany, cherry, maple you name it .. america got it... No wonder bedbugs like it ;) they sensed this land of opportunity ;) wisely... Take it one step further , I wonder if someone in steel and metal industry sensed this opportunity as well? A steel kingpin spreading loads of bedbugs.. attack and destroy the wood- replace with steel... ring in the dollars.. land of opportunity we are talking ;) Oh America , the land of opportunities and immigrants... everything here was suppose to be best of the best.. you may not get enough credit for your achievements but you can't skip the bad rep... no way... just look at the names.. west nile virus, asian carp infestation, asian long horn beetle... do they look indigenous to you at all ? No way.... how could they... ;) Don't get me wrong, bedbugs aren't keeping me up at night.. not yet for sure... But don't think I will be happily coexisting with them either...just sayin... we got through the mosquito, we will get through bedbugs.. Its a village afterall, albeit global, village nevertheless .... till next time happy swatting my friends !!

Paper Planes

Today K and I had wonderful wonderful time playing with our boys... We made lot and lots of paper planes and boats.... just a piece of paper folded few times so it appears as plane or boat....... racing the boats and throwing the planes that can reach the farthest.... plain, simple, easy yet very powerful......... boys had a blast and so did we.... one of those priceless moment to see those two brightly amazed faces and curious sparkling eyes.....a simple sheet of paper was clear winner in keeping them excited-holding their attention so long over anything from three roomful of expertly selected toys....who needs all those fancy, expensive toys when you can have creativity and ability to enjoy simplest things in life.... I remember having same good old time doing the exact same stuff with my father... my cherished, priceless moments....I miss you so much Baba... Thank you so much for giving me all the worldly wisdom and ability to enjoy simplest things in life to the fullest.. That's what life is all about... Boys, mommy and daddy will do a finger/shadow play some time next...